Assalammualaikum

So from now onwards Ill be writing more to bahasa melayu okay.. well for certain reasons la xnak kecoh sini.

Alhamdulillah setelah beberapa haru ni stress depress semua kan finally tonight Ill be flying to Houston.. tapi...ada la beberapa tapi..Tapi sebelum tu..why was I so stress these few days ?okay  jom

So remember my flight to Houston a day after my birthday to delay to somewhen we dont know kan.. ha so on 20th I received a call saying my flight will be on 22nd ..okayla then 21st tu me with the family went to Kl sebab nak kena report kat office dulu before depart.. so On my way to kuala lumpur tu... company called and said my flight will be delayed AGAIN on 26th pulak and tu pun xconfirm..so I went to office carried out medical checkup  je semua then I stayed kl sampai la harini ..standby xbalik johor.


Another upset part is..supposly my hero boyfriend sign off (turun kapal) on 24th..So to hear that my flight will be delayed so I was like omg I can meet him then lagi dua hari je !! BUt then.. my flight dah delayed pun dia xboleh turun ..another 10days he said.. So we both were so damnly sad sampai nangis2 when he called me using satellite phone(Dahla mahal 7dolar seminit :0) ..xdala sebab masa tu ingat Im goin already kan so tu dia gna phone tu to call..owh back to story. tapikurang nasib baiknya.. dah  delayed pun we still couldnt meet :'(

Anoher stress part is.. bila dia kata my flight will be 25th so my parents dah stress dah sebab 25th tu my brother adan got his taekwondo grading ke apa and the bext session he would go if he doesnt attend on this date us next year so w were so kusut nak pikir nanti parents mcm manakah nak kejar adam kat batu pahat and me in klia later..haish naaib baik my flight is tonight so lepas settle hal adam my parents straight dtg sini.

So then pulak rupanya I wilk go to Houston by my own ! alone myself sendiri seorang!
omg omg omg! and pulak..afda transit to Doha so I will be at Doha seorang sendiri my own alone to get flight to Houston! gucciguccigucci! so  em this really teat my courage and ability yang xpernah indpndent ni !

okayla nak siap pergi airport dah.. pray for my safety ..everything will be inShaaAllah ..you can do it yana chaiyokkk ..eah cop..thankyou to wveryone for everything..semua jasa xkan dilupa ;) xozo

goodluck me and readers..ada rezeki jumpa lagi

• Around 2100H ... We went to Victorious cafe but only for a while la sebab pukul 10 dia dah nak tutup -,-

•  Then we straightly went to Rest House ..an outdoor place ..  So then we hanged out mcmtu je bual2  then Ujang and Paktam came .. Sweetly cehh they came climbed up the stairs met me and tedengg ! purple bougainvilleas for me haha .. ' Hye yanaaa kitorang ada something.. terima la walau tak seberapa ..xsusah pun petik kat bawah tu je ha ' HAHA so cute and touchy ..

• Owh I didnt expect that we gonna have a bigger whole cake tau sebab at first tu they already bought a slice tiramisu.. perghh sedap gila Victorious punya Tiramisu tu MUCH BETTER THAN SECRET RECIPE'S to me .. So tu dah kira kek la kan they gave me like.. ha makan la kek tu ..haha 

• Then out of sudden.. ' Happy Birthdayyy to youuu Happy Birthdayyy to youuuu Happy bithday to Yanaaaa Happy Birthday to youu ' .. and.. Awhh a cake with birthday candle light.. Ni sumpah surprise sebab ingat slice cake tu la birthday cake nya .. And cutely they even have that apa tu yang plop plop ala what does it call -,- pull it and those colourful kertas come out.. (owh good job farah for blocked my view on the left side )

• Glad much that I didn't get any tepung bash Ya Allah untungnyaaa .. last year's tepung' bash was extremely tragis haha ..

• For the family pulak. Since I bought home the cake that they gave me lagi 3/4 tu so my mum told my aunt ' Ha datang xpayah beli cake ..dah ada ni gang dia belikan malam tadi..' haha ele boleh je beli another one rasanya :P So aunty and my grandma came my house makan kek sama2 :D Other family members gave lot2 wishes and paling kesian ..my Cikda.. haha she called for more than 4 times to wish but I was still sleeping masa tu .. 

• Specifically.. Bunch of thank you and love to Farah Sharena Tyara Aiem Daus Ujang Paktam for the night..

• To lovely boyfriend for the sweetest twitpic..very cute !. 
• To the parents for new phone.. Tapi havent got the thing hehe cant wait 

• Overall.. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR THE WISHES.. THE CONTINUOUSLY NOTIFICATONS ON FACEBOOK UNTIL THE FINAL OF 7TH NOV.. THE WISHES FROM FOLLOWERS IN TWITTER .. THE SWEET AND COURAGEOUS SMS .. THE BIRTHDAY SONGS SANG IN PHONE CALL AND LIVE..TO EVERYONE.. FOR EVERYTHING.. !! THANK YOU SO MUCH :) 

 First before all... Below is not my own writing ..Taken from ALAM's Fb post by an unknown writter... This is such a great one :) happy reading

 

WE WERE SAILORS

If a young man walks up to me one day and tells me that he is contemplating a career as a seaman, there will be many, many things that I shall tell him.
First of all, I shall tell him that there are neither great adventures nor any more new lands to discover, but there will be experiences that will stay in his heart forever.
I shall tell him that the modern sailor has to go to school first, so that he can learn how to use a spanner instead of a sword, the GPS instead of a sextant.
I shall tell him that he has to start off his sea career as a cadet, the lowest form of life onboard.
I shall tell him that he might have to wash the toilets and scrub the floors, and cleaning will become one of the most important skills in his sea life.
I shall tell him about the orientation games onboard. About new cadets
Having to stand at the forward station, shivering in the wind, with the instruction to look out for the equator line that will run across the sea.
About new cadets having to be shaved bald as an initiation ceremony for crossing the equator for the first time.
About being asked to get the keys for starting the main engine when there is no such thing.
About being presented with fake electricity and water bills for his lodging onboard.
And most of all, about the enthusiasm of the older hands at ensuring that the new kid gets drunk and loses his virginity at the first port of call.
And if he smiles and asks me about the women around the world, I shall tell him that there are different types of seamen:
There are those who abstain and tell you that they abstain.
There are those who indulge and tell you that they abstain.
There are those who indulge and tell you stories that will make you cream in your pants.
And of course, there are those who abstain and yet tell you that they are the Don Juan of the seven seas.

Salt of the sea
And then I shall tell him that there is only one type of seamen as far as shore people are concerned, and it is a stigma that we all have to carry with us.
I shall tell him to forget the earthly pleasures, for there will not be much. Instead, I shall tell him about working in the engine room at 45 C.
About cleaning the sludge tanks, the bilges, the scavenge spaces of the engine and, to top it off, the sewage plant.
I shall tell him not to go into the air-conditioned control room when he's covered in sweat.
And when he does go in for breaks, I shall tell him to first make a cup of coffee for the chief engineer, before making one for himself. I shall tell him to swallow salt tablets every day, so that he does not dehydrate and drop senseless while working.
I shall tell him to take good care of his health and his hygiene. He'll have to wash his own clothes because mama will not be there.
I shall tell him to sleep when he can, for when the alarms sound in the middle of the night, he'll have to jump up and run down to the engine room and be ready for action immediately.
And I shall tell him that the alarm sounds often.
I shall tell him that he will meet some good mentors who will guide him in his work and in life, and I shall tell him that he will meet some seniors who might scream and throw spanners at him for making mistakes.
I shall tell him that sometimes things can be so hard that he'll feel like crying, and I shall tell him that he can only cry in his cabin.

I shall tell him that he will make many close friends onboard. Some last for just that ship, some longer.
I shall tell him that he will learn to trust his friend with his life and the friend will give him the same compliment in return.

Sweet rewards and sacrifices
I shall tell him that if he makes it through the first ship safely, the moment of signing off from the first ship will be one of the sweetest moments of his life.
And I shall tell him time will fly, and soon it will be time for him to sign on another ship.
I shall tell him about the joy of signing off and going home. About the joy of having two months of vacation to spend with loved ones.
About the joy of having money to spend, saved from the toils at sea.
And then I shall tell him about the fear and worry as the leave finishes and the money start to run out.
I shall tell him about the concern that the company does not call him back for another contract, and yet,
I shall also tell him about the heavy sinking feeling when the phone rings and it's time for him to pack his suitcase.
I shall tell him about the crying girlfriend, and about the worrying mother.
I shall also tell him about the empty bank account and the sea time that he needs.
I shall tell him that it is a career of rapid rise in rank and earnings.
That he will have plenty of savings compared to his peers ashore.
But I shall also tell him about the sacrifices that come with it.
I shall tell him about being onboard during the festive seasons, and special occasions.
I shall tell him of being far away at sea during emergencies at home, and the pain of being at sea during the birth of his first child.

Back to shore
Then I shall tell him about the mid life crisis at sea.
I shall tell him about feeling lost whenever he comes back ashore, of the worries that he'll have to sail until he's old and knowing nothing except the life onboard.
I shall tell him about coming home and seeing his child has grown and the feeling when his child call him "uncle".
I shall then tell him about the decision to stop sailing and the doubts about starting work ashore.
About being lost in office politics, about the harsh realities of shore life and job security, about survival not of the most able but the most suave.
And I shall tell him about missing the simplicities at sea, about missing sea breeze.
About missing the circular unimpeded horizon.
About missing the excitement of the tossing seas during a storm.
About missing the tranquil beauty of waters so clam that the sky and the sea all merge into one.
I shall tell him that once we get salt in between our ears, it takes a long duration of shore life to dilute it.
And lastly, I shall tell him that it is not the best career finance wise or in terms of reputation.
But I shall also tell him that it is a decent way for a man to make a living and he will become a decent and honest man until the day he comes back ashore.
Then, I shall ask him to think more than twice before joining as a seafarer and than give him all my blessings and wish him bon voyage.

~Author Unknown

This was raya 2010 kot

Ini tergeli la budak2 sangat! haha

The schoolboys haha

Form 4 rasanya ni

ha ni hal kerja okay

CONVENT moment

Still short, forever short?

Berpindah ke SDBL : )

poser geli haha

Final ends. Like to be honest, I was quite confident for this sem daripada tahun leaps. Tapi... Prac navigation's paper memang sucks!!!!Memang da confirm2 fail : ( 


Whatever with finals, it pass already so now today, I have started dengan modulars simply to say ,macam test for competency before naik onboard for practical. Ni pun tah tak tau la how it will go. Sangkut sikit pun susah jugak dengan papers lagi. Haishh


Yesterday , a day where I have done a stupid+valuable thing in life haha. Went back home while having shoreleave bukan overnight leave tau. Haha by taxi, paid damn high to the driver, went back Johor. Haiiiyaaa


But it was more than worth enough.. My big family was there and we really had chaos and fun kat kampung, gathered ,talked, then we had diner together, a good moment after had facing finals for a week kan haha. Owh then sampai ALAM at 7 am, hehe takut sama RO tau.. -,-


Whatever it is, i just gained a good experience. : ) 

Balik kampung : )

Debating. : ) I remembered how I started to debate for competition. Well yea we debate everyday but how far we bring it to a more professional way eg competition . It was happened when I was in form 4. I ddnt know how it started but my teacher or my senior offer me to participate in the competition between schools level. I was firstly watch my seniors whch that is the way of you to start debate. Watch any match first. Then the day came after few week practise and believe it or not that was my first and last participated in debate in secondary school. And that first n last was actually brought a nice memory to me when I got the best speaker eventgh my team lost the match. Everything was still really clear until now evntgh it was already 3 years back. The motion was 'Attitude rather than aptitude is the key to success' and I was the first speaker .That time  idk why but the malay speaker will always be the frst speaker. In everyone's mind that time, first speaker plays the most minor role in the team and Malay speakers, are usually not as good as other races. Believe me that was what happened. Then form 5, I supposed to join the annual competition represented my school but I chose to join drama because being on stage acting  is one of the thing that I damn eager to do when I was at school. So I decided, I rejected the debate and try something new that was te english drama. Again, it was also still fresh in my thought.Me as the main role in the story really made me proud to be myself today. Sounds poser and loser but u wont know if u don't face it urself. The story was  ' Beauty and the beast' about two siblings of princess. Ohmy I miss the team I miss the drama!!! : ( Wo trust me it was a great experience ! The practice, the crews, : ) 

Okay back to debate. So here in ALAM, I just joined debate society known as ETHOS DEBATE SOCIETY. It's not that I want to leave Toastmaster club but yea I prefer not to comment more about this . So that day I went to MIMET UNIKL perak and to have the friendly match there. It was such a good foundation for the new beginner like us. To move on ,we then went to International Novice Debating Competition at UITM Shah Alam. Totally a very good steps taken by us where there we could learn and improve so much things.4 days we were there and here the pictures : )

This one was at UNIKL MIMET .

This is my team during Novice Two and a Half man team forever!!! : )

ALAM sent three teams, Two and a half man, Albino's and Pernas Propane haha. They did a good job too : )Most important thing was the experience and the moments all of us together .. And yea the final was between UTM and SDAR.and who said Malay is not good in debating. the speakers that went to final were all Malays. It is actually doesnt matter whch race u are, your english bckground or what, just debate talk, attack hentam and yea! haha

So, GOOD LUCK ME AND READERS! ; )

Back to Alam after one week of leave . But still today after a week, we still got 3 days leave for Maulud nabi


Being busy with the speeches that I need to prepare and present for Toastmaster club, then now joining the debate society, thenn somemore with LAs yang berlambak, I like : D

Life is just so-so. I dont know but when I come back ALAM, I can live better I mean in term of not too much hurt to think or to feel of other disturbing matters. I guess it happens because bila jauh, I dont expect more to come kan. 

Study? I am trying to build up ,slowly  because damnly sure I tell myself that I actually can do much better. If I could survive on so-so results of sem 1 with not more than 10 hours on study for a subject, I'm sure this sem if I start earlier from now, I deserve a better one. But do trust me the subjects .. hahh

Let me share with you my thoughts now upon this. Do you believe in faith? Yes you do but do u able to accept it? Sometimes yes sometimes not. 

Takdir. Orang selalu cakap , kita rancang Allah tentukan. Tapi kadang2, we didn't even planned it though. Then when it comes, we believe that there must be a good reason beyond them . There must be a good sign for the future but how far can you see the goods ? You always ask yourself and wondering of it,but thing that always happen is, kita sendiri tak tau jawapannya. 

Salahkan takdir, when we cannot accept things happened. It happens to me too but I'm not sure if I blame the faith. But I think not, I don't blame but I just cannot really accept . Sometimes I realize that they come by my own mistake and that's why ! Aku tidak dapat menerima kenyataan yang aku pernah melakukan kesalahan yang akhir sekali, ruin all that I afraid the most to be happened before. 

Second of my experience, being here in ALAM. I never wanted to , I mean I never planned to be here. I just went with the flow. Passed the interview got the sponsor and yeah I'm here. Because I belive that this is my faith. Allah s.w.t memudahkan segala perjalanan masuk ke ALAM when it was actually, I did nothing much ! Tapi tula la, dah takdir. Over 5000 that applied, I was one among 200+ chosen. For those that really badly wanna join here, did so much efforts tapi tak dapat , pun tu dikatakan takdir.

Mnyalahkan takdir? 
Kadang2 menyesal masuk sini. Bukan menyesal apa2 cuma u know like sometimes when I disscuss with my mates here especially the guys, we talk much about the condition being here. I don't chase after the money we will earn but that is what goin to happen when you need to sacrifice this and that later. I dont want to survive having a life that way but yea I'm here! Allah showed me and this must be the best for me and the family. I never blame Allah but I always force myself. redha Yana redha. There must be the golds waiting in the end of the road. It's all up to me if I want to keep patient and sincere to walk on ,--walk straight, or --alter the way to somewhere and delay the time or --I stop in the middle to just pick up the pieces and end there. And that ...u will see soon or later. 
ALLAH permudahkan urusan ku dan sekalian hambanya : )

GOOD LUCK ME AND READERS ! ;)

Wohoo these days are so busy with all of the modular courses.  Those are for the preparation for before the pratical onboard the ship later. So we had ,first aid modular . The scary injuries pictures were really frightened me off muahaha Trust me, IF I will be in charge for the case onboard that needs me to do the minor operation or to do SOMETHING on the bad injuries, I ll faint right there, right now hahaha !

Oh ok here is the class session  : )

my class.. beloved 14Bravo : )

ugly me -,-

the training

Being apart from family , the laughters and nagging from parents sometimes makes me feel down and to ask myself, Am I strong enough ? I have to always force myself to say yes. Well, if forcing is the only thing that works!
Great evening I had just now : ). We the ladies, Sera Fatin Syikin Kema Nabila went for kayak , walk around the beach , well that's good about Alam, it's free and anytime you wish . We kayak2 round here and there whle singing some songs haha was so much fun . Getting much more fun when we then get into the water mandi laut! You girls made my day today . And there I suddenly felt that I miss my Teruja's girlfriends haha. But I am defntely sure if this kind of thing they dont wanna join! ha? mandi pantai ? Farah ; make some sigh and turn the face away haha please la betul . Sharena ; ala I xnak rambut I basahh! haha kan b.

Well I turned out to be reddish on my body, bukak baju, shower and .. Omg! red spots here and there all over the body haha. Tula Yana.. xboleh kena air laut sibuk nak ikut. But before that kan I warned them, ' jangan kenakan air on my face ! please la jgn! haha so my dorang dah standby taknak bagi kena air kalau tak even my face will looks like, er I dont want to say .